Breeze FX

What is the difference between girls aged

2008-07-11T23:06:00.000+05:00

What is the difference between girls aged:
8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?

At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!

.........................................................plz comment

When Love Hurts

2008-05-20T17:06:00.000+05:00

A guide for girls on love, respect and abuse in relationships

Being in love is supposed to feel great.
But sometimes it just feels confusing.

What can you do if you are being hurt, controlled or treated badly in a relationship?

Have you ever felt like this?
If so, you're not alone.
You can burst the bubble.

This helps you to work out what's okay in a family and what's not.

It tells you what you can do if someone in your family is hurting or abusing you or another member of your family.

What is abuse in relationships?

You might be confused about whether what's happening to you is abuse. This info helps you understand the different kinds of abuse.

Abuse or violence in a relationship is a pattern of behaviour that one person uses against another to intimidate them and to get them to do what they want.

Abuseis not just physical violence. Emotional or sexual abuse can be just as harmful as physical violence.

Sometimes people call this sort of abuse 'dating violence' or 'domestic violence'. Research shows that in relationships, males are most likely to be the abusers, and females are most likely to be the victims. Females can also be abusive, in lesbian and in straight relationships. But here we will be referring to male-to-female abuse in relationships, but the ideas are also relevant to relationships where it is females who are abusive.

Emotional abuse

This is when your boyfriend or partner puts you down, ignores you or calls you names.
It may be about what you are wearing, or how you're acting.

He may want you to stop spending time with your friends and question you on every detail of what you've done without him. He may use jealousy or anger to intimidate you or to control your behaviour, or he might deliberately humiliate you in front of others.

Another form of emotional abuse is when he threatens to hurt himself or other people if you break up with him.
Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.

Physical abuse

This involves physical acts such as hitting, slapping, pushing, kicking, pulling your hair or choking you, or threatening to harm you in any way.

It could involve using a weapon or an object to threaten or hurt you, smashing things or driving a car dangerously to frighten you.

Hurting someone physically or threatening to hurt them is a criminal offence.

Sexual abuse

This involves pressuring or forcing you to do sexual things that you don't want to do. Even if your boyfriend or partner has not physically forced you to have sex with him, if he tried to manipulate you or coerce you into having sex when you didn't want to (like if he says 'you'd do it if you really loved me' or 'you're frigid'), this is still sexual abuse.

It is also sexual assault if you have been drinking or taking drugs or if you were asleep or unconscious and you were not aware of what was happening. Rape and other forms of sexual assault are criminal offences.

What's Love got to do with it?

Many girls don't realize that their boyfriend or partner behaviour is actually abusive, or they can't find a word for it. Sometimes they are convinced by their boyfriend or partner that his jealous and possessive behavior is because he loves them. But this kind of treatment isn't love; it's control.

Girl's help kit
Some ideas that might help:

If you are in danger you can call the police. Keep the phone number of your local police handy or memorise it in case you need it.

If you have been injured or hurt you can go to a doctor or hospital and get medical help.

Talking to someone about it can help:
You might think that no-one will believe you when you tell them what's been happening to you.
But when you do find someone who believes you, it can make such a difference to how you feel.

Talking about it can make you feel less alone, and the person you talk to might help you to work out what you want to do.

You might want to:
Talk to a friend
Talk to an adult
you can trust (this could be an older sister or brother, or your parents, a friend's parent, a relative or a counsellor).

They might have some ideas to help you to feel safer.
They might be able to help protect you from him, or they might be able to talk to him or warn him about the consequences of his behaviour.

You could talk to someone from a counselling service, either in person or over the phone.

If the first person you speak to makes you feel bad or doesn't listen to you or take it seriously,
then try to find someone else.

You deserve to be supported for this.

More ideas that might help you to feel stronger:

Focus on things that you enjoy or feel good at, to build your confidence.

Write your feelings down, keep a journal, or write him a letter that you don't have to send.

Listen to music that has lyrics that help you to feel stronger.

Pay attention to and trust your feelings and gut instincts.

Believe that you don't deserve to be treated this way.

Believe it's not your fault that he behaves this way.

Be proud of the way you've been able to be strong and of the ways you have found to keep going
when you've felt so much confusion, fear and hurt.

Perfect Husband

2008-04-17T23:57:00.000+05:00

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".

The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like."

ABC Marriage

2008-04-11T15:32:00.001+05:00

A - Absolutely adore each other
B - Be best friends
C - Compromise
D - Discover new things together
E - Encourage each other
F - Forgive and forget
G - Gaze into each others eyes
H - Hold hands and hug a lot
I - Inspire and intrigue each other
J - Joke and laugh and have fun
K - Kiss Kiss Kiss ;-)
L - Love with all your hearts
M - Marvel at each other's talents
N - Nuture each other's soul
O - Overcome problem together
P - Play games
Q - Quiet each other's fears
R - Remember the little things
S - Say "I love you" everyday
T - Take time for tenderness
U - Understand and care deeply
V - Value everything you share
W - Wish on stars
X - X-press your true feelings
Y - Yearn for each other's touch
Z - Zzzzz in each other's arm

Real feelings of girls

2008-03-31T17:48:00.000+05:00

1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship's over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even thoughshe flirts with other guys.
5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likesher. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you stilltreat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways ofexpressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.....
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crushbefore actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25..... A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who willlove and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.

A Sad Love Story

2008-03-17T11:34:00.000+05:00

have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friendUntil last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before thattrip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair oflovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other friends . To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl...
"Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked."I can't""Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me."No... I am going to meet a friend...
He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word 'love' only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love you' before. To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days...200days... Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why...
Then one day...
Me: Um, Jin, I ...Jin: What...don't drag, just say..Me: I love you.Jin: ......you....um, just take this doll and go home.That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many...Then one day came, my 19th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call I was disconned all my friends call just waiting for his call... But... lunch passed, dinner passed... and soon the sky was dark... he still didn't call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me: Jin...Jin: Here...take this...Again, he handed me a little doll.Me: What's this?Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye.Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?Jin: Today? Huh?I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted... "Wait..."Jin: You have something to say?Me: Tell me, tell me you love me...Jin: What?!Me: Tell meI put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left."I don't want to say...that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else."That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb... and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to say it easily... How could he.... I felt that... Maybe he is not the right guy for me...After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room... everydayAfter a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street... with another girl who was handing him a doll... He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...as he touched the doll... I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell... Why did he gave these to me... Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls...In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that... it's going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual...Me: I don't need it. Jin: What....why...I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again!I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking."I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll...Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!! But he became a deaf and dumb person and ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then...
Honk~ Honk~With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him."Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted... But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll."Jin, move!" HONK~!! "Boom!" That sound, so terrifying.That's how he went away from me. That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him... And after spending two months like a crazy person... I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days... when we were in love...
"One...two... three..." That was how... I started to count the dolls..."Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty five..." It all ended with 485 dolls.I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...
"I love you~, I love you~" I dropped the dolls, shocked.
"I....lo..ve...you??" I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
"I love you~ I love you~" It can't be! I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side."I love you~""I love you~""I love you~"Those words came out non-stop. I...love you... Why didn't I realize that....That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn't I realize that he love me this much... I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the one that I was missing so much.
"Jo...Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't say I love you.... Um... since I was too shy... If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you... everyday... till I die... Jo... I love you..."
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute...
For that... and for that reason... to me... it became courage... to live a beautiful life....
This Story telling us not to be afraid of expressing our Feelings to someone who is our life and
Try to understand others feeling and their problems before getting fire upon them with anger remember to break a heart a word is enough but to join it whole life is not enough.................................
Treat every relationship ( even its our blood relation.. MOM... Dad...Brother... Sister..)as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to Give.
Treat every moment as if it's the last day, then you'll know how to Treasure.
Treasure what you have right now, or else you may regret one day...

The History of Valentine's Day

2008-02-16T17:34:00.000+05:00

Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? Thehistory of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be putto death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.
While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.
To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.
The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.
According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.)
Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia.
Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap".

Girls are…….

2008-02-11T15:13:00.001+05:00

Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.

A dozen roses just for you

2008-02-04T18:31:00.000+05:00

With tender emotions and a sensitive heart

I'm sending my love to you

For you have revealed a love unknown

And an awareness that is anew.

Your tender love and compassionate words

Give me a feeling of complete content size=5>

I know you will treat my heart with care

For your affection is the message you've sent.

I've longed for a love such as yours

A love that will always be true

A caring love; a sharing love

And this love I want to share with you.

Things not to Say to a women

2008-01-26T19:01:00.000+05:00

1. Once a woman is dressed for any occasion, never ask, "are you going to wear that!?" or, "is that what you're wearing!?" These types of comments do not create a mood. But if you feel she may need a coat or different type shoe, a tactful suggestion may be appropriate.

2. Never talk about past relationships or other women even if she asks. People are naturally curious so she may really want to know about your past, but hold your tongue, you have better things to talk about. If she insists on talking about your past, mention how the past is not important to you and how excited about the future you are.

3. Avoid talking about yourself or your work.

4. Never correct or embarrass your lover in front of other people.

5. Never assume she understands what you are talking about.

6. Never compare her to another woman, even if it is her best friend, mother or sister.

7. Never assume she wants to do the same thing you do. Most people like to plan what to do, not be told.

The Virgin Husband ( Joke)

2008-01-26T18:57:00.000+05:00

A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: "Daughter, when you're in Town and if you're looking for a match there, you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is faithful', 'thrifty' and must be a 'virgin'.

"Mother, I've met the my match following your instructions. My future husband is faithful because when we went out for holiday one day, he took care of me specifically even though there were so many prettier girls around. Isn't that being faithful?"

Her mother nodded in agreement.

"Then, since the day was getting late in the night and rain was pouring, my boyfriend decided that we stay the night at a hotel. He also suggested that in order not to spend too much, they'll share one room only. Isn't he not thrifty guy?"

"How did you know he is still a virgin?" The mother asked with repidition. "MMM...his 'that one' is still new and hard.... All wrapped up in plastic, mum!"

Girls are like an internet virus

2008-01-17T12:14:00.000+05:00

Girls are like an internet virus:
They enter your life,
Scan your pockets,
Transfer your money,
Edit your mind,
Download their problems and
Delete your smile
So please download the software SayNoToGirls.EXE to save your life otherwise the hardiskof your heart may crash.

Whatr is this??????????

2008-01-15T11:22:00.000+05:00

މިފޮޓޯ އަކީ މިނިވަން ނޫހުގެ ވެބްސައިޓުގައި ޝާޢިއު ކޮށްފައިވާ ފޮޓޯއެކެވެ.

މިފޮޓޯއަށް ރަނގަޅަށް ބަލާލުމުން ފެންނަނީ ނަމާދުކުރަން އިންމީހަކު ދުރަށް ބަލާ މަންޒަރެވެ.ނަމާދުގައި ތަންތަން ބަލާ ހެދުމަކީ ނަމާދު ބާތިލުވާ ކަމަކަށްވީއިރު މިމީހާގެ ނަމާދު ޞައްޙަ ވާނެ ތޯއެވެ.މީނާގެ ނަމާދު ޤަބޫލުކުރެވޭނެތޯއެވެ.މިފަދަ ފޮޓޯ ވެބްސައިޓުތަކުގައި ޝާޢިޢު ކުރުމުން މީހުންގެ އަގުވެއްޓި އިޙުލާސްތެރިކަން ނެތްކަން ފާހަގަ ކުރެވެގެން ދެއެވެ.

ޝުކުރުގެ ސަޖިދައެއްވިޔަސް ނަމާދު ކުރާއިރު މީހާގެ ވިސްނުމާއި ޚިޔާލު ހުންނަންވާނީ ﷲ ސުބުހާނަހޫ ވަތަޢާލާ އަށް ބިރުވެތިކަން އަދާކުރާ ޙާލުގައެވެ . އިޚުލާސްތެރިކަން ނެތި އަޅުކަން ކުރުމެކޭ ފޫނެއް ފަޔަށް ފެން ފުރުމެކޭ ތަފާތެއް އޮންނާނެ ތޯ އެވެ..

75 years of service "To protect and Serve"

2008-01-13T09:47:00.000+05:00

މިައަހަރަކީ މޯލްޑިވްސް ޕޮލިސް ސާރވިސް އަށް 75 އަހަރު ފުރޭ އަހަރެވެ.ދިވެހިރާއްޖޭގައި އެންމެ ފުރަތަމައަށް ފުލުހުން އުފެދުނީ 1932 ވަނަ އަހަރު ދިވެހި ރާއްޖޭގައި ފުރަތަމަ ފަހަރަށް ދުސްތޫރީ ވެރިކަމެއް ޤާއިމް ކުރެވުމާއި ގުޅިގެން ޤާނޫނު ހަދާ މަޖްލިސްގައި މާލޭގައި ފުލުހު މީހުން ތިބުމާއި، އެމީހންގެ ކަންތައްތައް ހުންނަންވީ ގޮތްތަކާއިމެދު ވާހަކަ ދެކެވި، އެއިރު ތަޚުތުގައި އިންނެވި މަހާރަދުން އައްސުލްތާން މުޙައްމަދު ޝަމްސުއްދީން އިސްކަންދަރު ކައްތިރި ބަވަނަ މަހާރަދުންގެ ހިރިޔާ ފާތުރާއަށް 1351 ޛުލްޤައިދާ 30 ދުވަހު ޤާނޫނު ހަދާ މަޖުލިސުން ހުށަހެޅުއްވި ޤާނޫނު 1933 މާރޗް 29 ( 02 ޛުލްޙިއްޖާ 1351 ހ. ) ގައި ދަސްދީޤު ކުރައްވާ ގެޒެޓް ކުރެއްވުމުން ނެވެ.

ފުލުހުން ވަކި މުއައްސަސާ އަކަށް ބަދަލުވުމާއި ގުޅިގެން ފުލުހުންގެ ޚިދުމަތް ޒަމާނާއި އެއްގޮތަށްބަދަލުވެ މިއަދު ދެމުން ގެންދަނީ ދުނިޔޭގެ އެހެން ޤަޢުމުތަކެކޭ އެއްފަދައިން ކޮމިއުނިޓީ އޮރިއެންޓެޑް ޕޮލިސިން" ގެ ޚިދުމަތެވެ.މިއަދު ދިވެހި ފުލުހުންގެ ތެރޭ އެފް.ބީ އައީ ގެ ގުރެޖުއޭޓުން އެބަ ތިއްބެވެ.ތަހުޤީގު ކުރުމުގައި ބޭނުން ކުރެވެނީ ޒަމާނީ ޑިޓެކްޓިވް ހުނަރު ތަކެވެ. ފޮރެންސިކް އެވިޑެންސް ހޯދުމުގއަިވެސް ދިވެހި ފުލުހުން ވަނީ ކުރިއަރާ ބޮޑެތި އުސްމިންތަކެއް ޙާޞިލްކޮށްފައެވެ.

" މާތްވެގެންވާ އިސްލާމްދީނާއި، ދިވެހިރާއްޖޭގެ ޤާނޫނު އަސާސީއާއި ޤާނޫނުތަކަށް ތެދުވެރިވެ، ޤާނޫނާއި ޤަވާއިދުތައް ތަންފީޒުކުރުމުގައި އަހުރެން ދެމިހުންނާނަން. ކޮންމެ ފަރުދަކާމެދުވެސް ހަމަހަމަކަމާ، ކުލުނާ އިޙްތިރާމާއެކު، މުޢާމަލާތުކުރާނަން.
ދިވެހިރާއްޖޭގެ ދުސްތޫރީ ވެރިކަމާއި، މީސްތަކުންގެ ފުރާނަޔާއި މުދަލާއި ގެދޮރު ޙިމާޔަތްކުރުމުގައި ކެތްތެރިކަމާއި، ހިއްވަރާއި، ޢަޒުމާއެކު ސާބިތުވެ ހުންނާނަން.
ޤާނޫނާ ޤަވާއިދާ ޚިލާފު ޢަމަލުތައް ކުރާފަރާތްތައް ހޯދައި، އެފަދަ އަމަލުތައް ހުއްޓުވަން ހިއްވަރާއެކު މަސައްކަތްކުރުމުގައި ފަސްނުޖެހި، އަހުރެން ދެމިހުންނާނަން.
ދިވެހި ފުލުހަކަށްވީތީ ފަޚުރުވެރިވެ، ފުލުހުންގެ މަސްޢޫލިއްޔަތުތަކާއި ވާޖިބުތައް އަދާކުރުމުގައި ޒިންމާދާާރުވެ، ކިޔަމަންތެރިކަމާއެކު އަހުރެން ޤައިމުވެ ދެމިހުންނާނަން.
އަހުރެމެންގެ ލޮބުވެތި ދިވެހި އުންމަތުގެ ކަރާމާތާއި، އަމަން އަމާންކަމާއި ސުލްޙަ މަސަލަސްކަން ދެމެހެއްޓުމުގައި މާތްﷲގެ ވާގިފުޅާއެކު، ތާއަބަދު އަހުރެމެން ދެމި ތިބޭނަން. "
ފުލުހުންގެ ޢަޒުމަކަށް ވީހިނދު ކޮންމެ ފުލުހަކީ ދިވެހި ފުލުހަކަށްވީތީ ފަޚުރުވެރިކަމާއި އެކު ދިވެހި ރައްޔިތުންނަށް ޚިދުމަތްކުރާ ވަފާތެރި، ހިތްވަރުގަދަ ފުލުހެކެވެ.ދިވެހި ރައްޔިތުންނަށް ޓަކައި ޤުރުބާންވާން ތައްޔާރަށް ތިބި ދިވެ ދަރީންނެވެ.ދިވެހި މަންމަޔާއި ބައްޕައިންގެ ދެލޮލުގެ ކޮޔެވެ.އިޚުލާސްތެރިކަމާއި އެކު ދިވެހި ރައްަްޔިތުންގެ ދިފާޢުގައި މޭ ދިއްކޮއްލަން ޢަޒުމު ކަނޑަ އަޅައިގެންތިބި ފަހުލަވާނުންނެވެ.ކަންމިހެންހުރިއިރު ދިވެހި ފުލުހުންގެ މި ޚިދުމަތަށް 75 އަހަރފުރޭ މި ޝަރަފުވެރި އަހަރުގައި ދިވެހި ފުލުހުންނަށް ހިތުގެ އަޑިން ތަޢުރީފާއި ޝުކުރު ރައްދުކުރަމެވެ.ދިވެހި ފުލުހުންނަށް އަދަށްވުރެ ފެހި އުޖާލާ މާދަމާއަކަށް އެދި ދުޢާ ކުރަމެވެ. ފަޚުރުވެރި ދިވެހި ފުލުހުންގެ ޝަރަފްވެރި ޚިދުމަތަކީ ދިވެހި ދިދަ މިޖައްވުގައި ވިހުރޭހާއި ހިނދަކު ދިވެހިން އަގުވަޒަންކުރާނޭ ޚިދުމަތެކެވެ.

Principles of life

2008-01-07T16:46:00.000+05:00

* Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.

* You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.

* When everything else is lost, the future stillremains.

* Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.

* The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.

* If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.

* If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.

* Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.

* You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.

* Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

* Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.

* If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.

* Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.

* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

* Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything

* There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.

* Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

* All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.

* Change your thoughts and you change your world.

* Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.

* There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it.

* The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.

* Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.

* Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.

A Joke

2007-12-30T16:59:00.000+05:00

އެއްދުވަހަކު ލޯ އަނދިރިމީހަކާ ނުހިނގޭމީހެއް ހިނގާލަން ދިޔައެވެ.
ނުހިނގޭމީހާ ލޯއަނދިރި މީހާގެ ކޮނޑުމަތީ އިނދެގެން ހިނގަންވީ މަގު ކިޔާދެއެވެ.
މަގެއްގެ މަތިން ހިނގަމުންގޮސް ގެއެއްގެ ގިފިއްޔާ އަރާ ހަމަވި ވަގުތު ލޯއަނދިރިމީހާ ނުހިނގޭމީހާގާތު އަހާލިއެވެ.
" ތިޔަގޭ ގިފިލީގައި ފެންވަރަން އިނީ އަންހެނެއްދޯއެވެ."
ނުހިނގޭމީހާ ހައިރާންވެފައި ބުންޏެވެ. "އަޅެ! ކަލޭގެ ލޯ އަނދިރި އިރު މިގޭ ގިފިލީގާ ފެންވަރަން އިނީ އަންހެނެއްކަން އެިނގުނީ ކިހިނެއްހެއްޔެވެ." ލޯ އަނދިރިމީހާ ބުންޏެވެ."މަގޭ ކަނދުދާމައްޗަށް މިއަރާ ބާރުންނެވެ."

Maldives Police Service...1step forward

2007-12-27T12:52:00.000+05:00

މޯލްޑިވްސް ޕޮލިސް ސަރވިސްގެ ކޮމާންޑް ސެންޓަރުގައި މަސައްކަތްކުރާ ފުލުހުންނަށް އަމާޒުކޮށްގެން ކޮމާންޑް ސެންޓަރ އޮޕަރޭޝަން ރިފްރެސަރސް ޓްރޭނިން ކޯހެއް ފެށިއްޖެއެވެ. މިދިޔަ ހޯމަދުވަހުން ފެށިގެން 01 މަސްދުވަހުގެ މުއްދަތަށް ހިންގާ މިކޯހުގައި ކިޔަވައިދެއްވަނީ މިދާއިރާއިން ތަޖުރިބާ ލިބިގެން ތިބި ފުލުހުންނެވެ.
މިކޯހުގައި ކިޔަވައިދޭ ބައިތަކުގެތެރޭގައި ކަސްޓަމަރ ރިލޭޝަން، އިފެކްޓިވް ކޮމިއުނިކޭޝަން، ޓީމް ބިލްޑިންގ، ޓެލެފޯން އެޑިކޭޓް ، ހިއުމަން ރައިޓްސް އަދިި ރޭޑިޔޯ ކޮމިއުނިކޭޝަން އާއި ޕޮލިސް މެނޭޖްމަންޓް ސިސްޓަމް ފަދަ ބައިތައް ހިމެނެއެވެ.
މިކޯހުގެ މައިގަނޑު މަޤުސަދުތަކުގެ ތެރޭގައި ޕޮލިސް ކޮމާންޑް ސެންޓަރަކީ ޓެކްނޮލީގެ ގޮތުން ބަލާއިރު ވަރަށް ސިސްޓަމެޓިކް ތަނަކަށްވުމާއެކު އެތަނުގައި މަސައްކަތްކުރާ ފުލުހުންގެ ފެންވަރު ރަގަނޅުކުރުމެވެ. އެގޮތުން ޢާއްމު ފަރާތްތަކުންނާއި އެހެނިހެން ފަރާތްތަކުންވެސް މޯލްޑިވްސް ޕޮލިސް ސަރވިސް އާއި ގުޅުމުން އެންމެ ފުރަތަމަ އެފޯނުތަކަށް ޖަވާބުދާރީވާން ޖެހޭ ތަނަކީ ޕޮލިސް ކޮމާންޑް ސެންޓަރުކަމަށް ވުމާއެކު ފޯނުތަކަށް ޖަވާބުދާރީ ވުމުގެ ފެންވަރު ރަނގަޅުކޮށް ޢާއްމުންނާއި ފުލުހުންނާއި ދެމެދު އޮންނަ ގުޅުން ރަނގަޅުކުރުން މިކޯހުގެ އެންމެ މުހިންމު ބައިތަކުގެތެރޭގައި ހިމެނެއެވެ.
ޖުމްލަ 10 ބައިވެރިން ހިމެނޭ މިކޯހަކީ މިއީ މިގޮތުން ހިންގޭ ފުރަތަމަ ބުރެވެ.

Girls & Guys Facts (GIRL FACTS:)

2007-12-24T14:14:00.000+05:00

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking she wants you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart, she still feels it when u run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be
around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you, " no one in this world can miss you more than that

When a girl is mean to you after a breakup she wants you back, but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever

Diffarent types of -----BRA

2007-12-24T14:09:00.000+05:00

Poisonous BRA --- coBRA

Mathemetical BRA---- algeBRA

striped BRA---- zeBRA

strongestBRA---- vertiBRA

sunsignBRA---- liBRA

magical(invisible)BRA---aBRA ka daBRA

shots from my cam

2007-12-12T02:39:00.000+05:00

is this true????

2007-12-10T19:07:00.000+05:00

1 When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.

2 When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.

3 A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship's over.)

4 If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.

6A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.

7When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her.

So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).
11Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.

12 Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13 When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act look uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.

14A smile means a lot to a girl.

15 If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.

16 If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.

17 But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18 Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.

19 Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance
to a girl that she is beautiful.

20 After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.

21 If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.

22 When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23 A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.

24 Girls love having fun!

25 A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.

26 A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.

27 Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.

28 Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.

29 Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30 Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.

31 Girls always hope that they can always remain as friend with their ex. But never know how !

I love you

2007-06-11T00:29:00.000+05:00

When U Were Only 5 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U...
U Asked Me: "What Is It?"

When U Were 15 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Blushed.. U Look Down And Smile..

When U Were 20 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Put Ur Head On My Shoulder And Hold My Hand.. Afraid That I Might Dissapear..

When U Were 25 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Prepare Breakfast And Serve It In Front Of Me, And Kiss My Forhead N
Said : "U Better Be Quick, Is's Gonna Be Late.."

When U Were 30 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Said: "If U Really Love Me, Please Come Back Early After Work.."

When U Were 40 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Were Cleaning The Dining Table And
Said: "Ok Dear, But It's Time For U To Help Our Child With His/Her Revision.."

When U Were 50 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Were Knitting And U Laugh At Me..

When U Were 60 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Smile At Me..

When U Were 70 Yrs Old. I Said I Love U..
We Sitting On The Rocking Chair With Our Glasses On.. I'm Reading Your Love Letter That U Sent To Me 50 Yrs Ago.. With Our Hand Crossing Together..

When U Were 80 Yrs Old, U Said U Love Me!
I Didn't Say Anything But Cried..

That Day Must Be The Happiest Day Of My Life! Because U Said U Love Me!!!

Please Appreciate Your Loved Ones.. Say "I Love You" To Them When U Have The Chance Now!!!

Tea cup spoke to me

2007-06-07T09:48:00.000+05:00

There was this couple who used to go to shop in the beautiful stores. This was their 25th Wedding Anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, especially teacups.
One day in a fine shop, they saw this beautiful teacup. One said, "May I see that? I never have seen one quite so beautiful," and the lady handed it to him. As she handed it to him, suddenly the teacup spoke.

"You don't understand," it said, "I haven't always been a teacup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay. My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'Let me alone.' But he only smiled, 'Not yet.'

"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around and around. 'Stop it! I'm getting dizzy' I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet.'
"Then he put me in the oven. I'd never felt such heat! I wondered why he wanted to burn me. I yelled! I knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head, 'Not yet.'

"Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf and I began to cool. 'There that's better,' I said. Then he brushed me and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Stop it! Stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'

"Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head, saying, ' Not Yet.'"

"Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf.
One hour later, he handed me a mirror and said, 'Look at yourself,' and I did, and I said, 'That's not me, that couldn't be me, it's beautiful. I'm beautiful!'

without a Girl Friend

2007-06-02T20:11:00.000+05:00

1. You can stare at any Girl.......

2. You don't have to spend money on her.

3. You won't get boring result in ur papers.

4. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one to be a cool guy loves .

5. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring

6. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.

7. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.

8. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.

9. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters.No more endless waiting for ur date toarrive at some weird shop\place

10. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them

11. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.

12. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.

13.You wont have to fight over having a 'special' freind with ur folks.

14. No nonstop nonsense.

15. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.

16. No more tension.

17. You can be "urself"

18. You wont have to hide your telephone bills...

So Try to AVOID Girl Friends in your Life...!

Sealed with a Kiss...Must Read Before Kiss Any One...!!!

2007-05-29T18:14:00.000+05:00

What is a kiss if it is said? A secret told to the mouth instead of the ear… A kiss is as some poets describe, a bouquet of flowers that attracts the bees, amber warmed by the hand of a girl, the perfume of fruits mellowing in their winter buds…yes all of these is a kiss.
Coleridge called a kiss, "nectar breathing." Shakespeare says that a kiss is a "seal of love." Others have said that a kiss is: the balm of love; the first and last of joys; the seal of bliss; love's tribute; the melting sip; the nectar of Venus; the language of love. But the fact remains… a kiss has remained; ever since Adam turned and saw Eve lying next to him… ever since the 17th century Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and woke her from her deep slumber… ever since John Rice kissed May Irwin for the first time onscreen in 1896… and ever since our own Mallika Sherawat openly declared that kissing makes her skin glow, so she loves kissing her co-stars.

A kiss has remained… as an expression of love, a tribute to love and an introduction to love… a kiss that is implanted on the ring of the Pope, a kiss which a mother plants on her child's forehead, a kiss when lovers meet or a kiss when its time to say good bye… a kiss remains through joy, happiness, passion and through tears.
If eyes are the portals to the soul, then lips are the corridors to the mind. We react to thoughts with a smile, express love with words and intentions with a kiss… Intention that is friendly when you kiss someone on the cheek or of admiration when you kiss on their hand. A desire that is shown by kissing on the neck or ears. And of course the kiss, which the special someone gives you on your lips and whispers ‘I love you'.

A kiss speaks your mind and the truth in your thoughts. It signifies a special gesture. Like the virgin kiss, which is like a wish… a dream? The friendly “I really like you” cheek kiss or the naughty “I want you” ear kiss. It is said that love dictates but a kiss writes the secrets of the heart. It is the passion in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness but the affection in it sanctifies it. Where the shoulder kiss and forehead kiss brings comforts and security to someone, the eye kiss to your sleeping partner shows your deep love and affection. The seductive finger kiss speaks of your desire, so does the “I want you” neck kiss when you gently nibble up and down your partner's neck. The foot kiss can be highly erotic just like the passionate French kiss where lovers kiss through tongues. Surprisingly enough, the French calls it the English kiss. And of course for lovers far apart, the virtual kiss comes handy over the internet.
Incase you want to get a little more romantic there can be a dancing kiss when you suddenly grab your partner in your arm, play romantic music, switch to a little dance and then gently start kissing. Or the trickle kiss when you take a sip of your favorite drink and trickle it slowly into your partner's mouth while kissing. And of course the romantic teaser kiss where you start with a loving kiss on the forehead followed by a sweet short kiss on lips moving up and down the arm and further kissing on the lips till it becomes really passionate.
For the shy lovers who yet cannot approach their love, wait till the Christmas season because it brings the mistletoe custom. And the custom says that if a woman is caught standing under the sprig of mistletoe, any man has the right to kiss her, without asking her permission or begging her pardon. This is one time when social convention doses its eyes to lover's delights. For then, you can seize hold of your girl and smack her to your heart's content without being socially scorned for it.

Apart from the mistletoe custom, many other interesting customs and kissing legends exists. Tradition has it that any woman, who kisses the armor-clad statue of the 16th century Italian soldier Guidarello Guidarelli, would marry and settle down with a wonderful gentleman. It is estimated that over 5 million woman have one so. In Ireland, it is believed that any person who kisses the Blarney Stone, situated in the 15th century Blarney Castle in Cork, is said to be endowed with good fortune and the gift of eloquence. In Germany, it has been observed that those who kiss their spouse each morning earn 20 to 30 percent more income and live approximately five times longer. Since a morning kiss begins their day with a positive attitude.
But as they say, love can also be dangerous sometime. Social Practices in Indiana makes it illegal for a mustached man to "habitually kiss human beings". An amazing fact is that in Hartford, Connecticut it's illegal for a husband to kiss his wife on Sunday, and in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, it's a crime to kiss a stranger. Who ever thought this sweet expression of love could be so grave.
For those who do not approve of this romantic gesture must know that kissing has some health benefits too. Reports have revealed that a one minute kiss burns 26 calories. While kissing, your heart is pumping, your pulse is racing and it becomes a great cardio-vascular workout. So next time when you plan to hit the gym, why not opt for the easier way. Kissing is great stress buster; it gives you a good-all-over feeling until and unless your partner has bad breath. Women compare it to melting butter or a splash of wave. Men describe it as vibrations at a concert. But what is the physiology behind the warm and fuzzy feelings that accompany a good kiss? It's all about dopamine, neurotransmitters, pleasure receptors and the like. If you are still varying between the kiss-me and kiss-me-not hubbub, understand the ardor of a kiss, think of the benefits otherwise and go on.

So whether the kiss seals a betrothal, signifies respect and admiration or comforts a tearful eye, the fact remains that a kiss is a promise of a heart full of love and tenderness.

One kind kiss before we part,

Drop a tear and bid adieu;

Though we sever,

my fond heart Till we meet shall pant for you.

~ Robert Dodsley

Be a Good Kisser DO gently caress your partner's face.

DON'T octopus your hands all over their body.

DO use your tongue to stimulate.

DON'T use your tongue like a jackhammer.

DO notice how your partner reacts to your kisses.

DON'T notice how cute the guy at the next table is.

DO communicate with your partner.

DON'T communicate the kiss to everyone in the locker room.

DO chew a gum before you kiss.

DON'T kill him with your bad breath.

DO say something sweet now and then while kissing.

DON'T keep blabbering non-stop in the moment of passion.

Why do men avoid relationship talk?

2007-05-26T21:39:00.000+05:00

Men are always ready or eager to do everything from ironing, washing up and nappy changing.
A man can find a million and one other things to do rather than sit down with his partner and (deep breath) talk about their relationship. It's not because men don't care about their woman, its just that the word 'relationship discussion' mean different things to men and women. Often a woman will just want a chat, which can also involveairing her thoughts and worries. However, a lot of men don't see a simple clearing the air discussion as a moan or an indication of unhappiness. He gets on the defensive, says everything she's saying is rubbish; she says, he's uncaring and doesn't understand her.

We've all been there, haven't we?

So what's the answer?

How can two grown-ups manage to have an adult conversation about their relationship?

It's probably a good idea to first of all, recognise that your man sees the whole discussion process from a widely different viewpoint.
Before you sit down with him and begin talking, it might pay to explain that what you're about to say isn't a moan. If you're about to make some sort of criticism,pay him a compliment first or stress some of the great things about your relationship.

During relationship discussions, men tend to look for logical answers to issues that are less than straightforward. Try explaining to him that you don't necessarilywant quick fix responses from him if you do simply want to get something off your chest, tell him that. Ask him to just listen.

Silent Tears

2007-05-26T21:29:00.000+05:00

Do you perceive life only as a futile struggle, rather than a challenge that is meaningful? When you look realistically and rationally at your life, your time is a precious commodity. Those who have known you will judge how you have spent your time and what you have left as your legacy. The concept of death is frightening to those who lack spirituality. Self-indulgence and other morally relativistic behavior consume the thoughts of many people during their spare time when their only focus is on their irrational thoughts and their fears. They visualize bigger homes, better cars, more jewelry, or a better significant other. They grow to resent the current people and possessions they have due to this irrational pattern of thought. They fear that they will miss out on some sort of pleasure before their lives end. This serves only to reinforce their emptiness and fear. 3

Visualize how you can give something back to benefit another person through the acts of love, respect, and honesty. You are also challenged to accept that there will be times when you fall short. The human condition involves the struggle to become a better person while understanding that there will be peaks and valleys along the way. Wipe your tears away and find true meaning through your acts of love. Let your tears of sorrow turn to tears of happiness.

My Bro "Things"

2007-05-25T21:12:00.000+05:00

"Things" LOL may u think its funny if I call Things to some 1 .Things is his name.his actual name is Ibrahim Hassan.but I call him things.cox I love him.actually behind that name there are many meanings.GOOD THINGs,SWEET THINGS,FUNNY THINGS. He have these all qualities.he is funny, smilly and care me very much.he is my best friend he is my bro .

Things is 23 years boy working in government .he like blue colour and his favorite food is Garudhiya and Rice.

Every night befor he sleep he send me an sms and say goodnight.

his birthday is 27 of may.I would like tel every 1 to wish him (my bro) "HAPPY B'DAY"

What is Love & Marriage??????????????

2007-05-24T19:40:00.000+05:00

The student asks a teacher: What is love?The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy field and choose the biggest paddy and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person.

The student asked: What is marriage then? The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick. The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he fee satisfied, and came back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get .... this is marriage.

50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab

2007-05-24T19:29:00.000+05:00

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.

6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.

10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

13. Enter the lab and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.

15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Start screaming tat the top of your lungs the you need this disk now. Keep screamin until someone givew you one. Then, quickly pull a disk out of your pocket and say: "Oops, I forgot. I already have one. Nevermind."

16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Oh please oh please oh please oh please," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"

18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Start taling to it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudlythat women (men) are worthless.
22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching and saying, "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard and taking it.

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of yourneighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.

40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.

43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.

45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.

46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily and exclaim, "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say "Give me thatcomputer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".

50. Walk into the lab and scream at

the top of your lungs for an hour (feel free to scream about anything), then look at everyone and say, "I feel better now. Bye," and calmly walk out.

Falling in Love

2007-05-21T20:05:00.000+05:00

When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them. At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone. Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are desperately waiting for the call! At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the emails or SMS messages in your phone because of one message from that special someone, you are in love.
When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone. Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend",but you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.
While you are reading this mail, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with that person...;))

Make That Girl Your Vitamin Me

2007-05-20T21:13:00.000+05:00

Getting a girl of your dreams is much like getting the car of your dream. But unlike a car which you can always bargain for, there is nothing like a 20 percent discount in courting the girl of your dreams, she's so sweet a thing to be discounted, you dearly are in love with her and your feelings for her can only be communicated not by the words of the mouth, but by the words of the heart. Getting the girl actually depends on how big your heart is - faint heart, never won fair lady.

The first step in the heart-winning exercise for any man is to make a good impression. In your doing so, you don't have to talk, dress or do the common things that all the Toms do to get a decent girl's attention. Be unique, that's all you need. Be a man of his own style. Dress decently - indecency can make one be mistaken for arrogance; watch your language - obscene language gives the impression of immaturity, being uncultured and cheap; be a man of good habits - don't drink or smoke like any other loser.

Let her fall in love gradually. Romance is an important part of falling in love. When in College I had a crush on the most beautiful lady in our first year lot. Though all senior guys were out to get that girl, I managed to divert her attention from the other guys. I wrote her three letters without disclosing my identity and slid into her room secretly; all I said was 'Your Secret Admirer.' The first letter contained the meaning of her name, this I got by playing around with the initials of her name to make meaning. The second was a funny message that could only be read backwards and it was all about her physique and her smartness. In the third letter I told the girl to be ready to receive a rose flower from her admirer, but only if she could be kind enough to phone him using a number that I had included in the letter. The girl did phone me that very night, and her first words to me were, "Hallo Secret Admirer." So, the story of our love affair came to be. Later she told me that was so creative of me, no one had approached her in that manner. I made her fall in love with me in the romantic manner.

Befriending and understanding the girl you are out to get is the next important thing. This is what I also did. You have to understand that as a lady, she loves to be loved, adores to be adored and needs to be needed. This will move you closer to the girl and you'll get to know what she's into, what she likes and dislikes, and what her style is. Love is built upon friendship and it always leaves individuals better off having known each other should they break up. My College steady and I were to break some time later but to date; we are the best of buddies. Be sure that bringing out the selflessness friend in you will make her create room for you in her heart.A shoulder to lean on and some good friend that she can always turn to is all that a lady wants. Please don't hesitate to be helpful and supportive. Be that friend who rekindles her zeal of hardworking and restoring hope back into her life when she looses hope. This above all other things will make you her daily vitamin simply because you bring out the best in her in terms of personality and character. In you, she'll have found that friend whom she can open up to, share with and advice each other on the rights and wrongs, the dos and don'ts of life. Don't forget to always be there to celebrate the good times, and to lend an ear when the girl needs you to listen as a friend.

Make the girl feel special because she's someone's friend - your friend, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciations for the comfort the girl offers you and for making you smile.

In your day-to-day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she's your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.

Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go 'my my' and her heart will sing your name all the year round.

You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl's interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost exhausted a whole rim of paper. At sometime, I noticed that some guys sited with us on the table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?

Never fail to phone her, even when she least expects it. I once called some girl that I was interested in at four o'clock in the morning. When inquiring of what I was doing up so early, I told her I was in thirteenth heaven, where people think of their loved ones when they can't sleep. Wow! First thing early the next morning, she was at my door with a king-sized hug for me. No matter how many dates you take her, don't make any elbow - exceeding moves after any date, just drop her home and with a friendly handshake, wish her good night. Don't kiss her when she expects you to. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.

The writing is on the wall that you want her, but you can't have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she's actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she'll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you'll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you'll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.

Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.
The patience and self-control that you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart hers.I wish you to meet the girl of your dreams ASAP, make her fall in love with you, and make her feel the happiest girl in the world!

Romantic Rhymes .... LOL

2007-05-20T21:07:00.000+05:00

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "go to hell"

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's

empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace,

If only you could, hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not!

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

-Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime

Wanna Laugh..read it

2007-05-20T21:00:00.000+05:00

1) Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c & a=c tell me the example.
Student: I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.

2) Three fastest means of communication
telephone - television - tell A women

3) Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arrange marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

4) What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems - subraction of money - multiplication of enemies - division of friends.

5) A married man was asked to perform his SWOT(Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, Threat) Analysis.

He said, my strength is my wife.My weakness is my neighbour's wife.Opportunity comes when neighbour goes out.Threat comes when I myself go out.

55 Reasons why I love You

2007-05-19T19:37:00.000+05:00

1) The way you stand by my side

2) The times you make sure nothing will harm me

3) How you always find a new way to "WoW" me

4) When I'm sad, you take the pain away with a joke

5) How you always look deep into my eyes

6) How you can make my heart melt with your soft lips

7) The way you hold my hand so tight

8) The way you never let my hands go

8) How you always watch out for me

9) They way you make sure I have everything I need

10) How you always know what to say when I get mad at you

11) When you buy me things out of the blue

12) How you say the cutest things over and over and never gets old

13) The way you play with my hair when I'm falling asleep

14) The way you stare at me as if I am the most handsome guy in the world!

15) The times when you where determind for me not to be mad at you anymore

16) The way you look when I get all dressed up

17) The smile you give after I'm done kissing you

18) The way you act like a dork but make me laugh

19) The way your not embarrased to say or do anything in front of me

20) How you can just defend me and not be scared

21) They way you walk when you get sad!\!

22) The look you make when you get jealous

23) When Im feeling the worst, you make me feel the happiest

24) The way you sing to be all cheesy

25) How you can just drive hours to see me for a day

26) How you always finish my sentences

27) How your the only one who thinks im NOT weird

28) How your the only one who gets my joke... and laughs

29) The way we play stupid games, but you play anyways

30) How I can never hate you

31) How you love me like no other

32) The way you touch me as if I might break

33) How you tell me long stories that have no meaning, but you know I'll listen anyway

34) How you listen to me talk for hours

35) How you forgive me when I do wrong

36) How you hardly ever get mad at me

37) The way you look after I say I love you

38) How times it seems like we're the only ones here

39) the way your not embarrased to call me sweet things in front of anyone

40) The way you call me every freakin minute

41) The way you always find a way to see me or talk to me

42) How you put ME before you friends

43) How you would do anything I say

44) The way you get my attention

45) The way I turn you on, without me doing anything

46) How you can just speak your mind

47) How your not afraid to tell me your feelings

48) How you can cry in front of me with out being shy or embarassed

49) How you can diss parties to just stay home with me all night

50) How we talk on the phone all night

51) How we both get along so well

52) The way you spend all your money to buy calling cards for me

53) The way we're so much alike!!

54) How you make me feel when I think I'm nothing

55) the way you inspire me with your thoughts and emotions!!!!

SOME FUNNY TELEGRAMS !!

2007-05-19T19:17:00.000+05:00

*TELEGRAM #1*A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as: "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

*TELEGRAM #2*A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here." The message received by wife: "I wishyou were her."

*TELEGRAM #3*A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue,she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as: "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."

*TELEGRAM #4*A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says: Let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better". The salesman asks, "How do you want me to put it?" The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at the top and "You are getting better" at the bottom. The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake: "You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better atthe bottom".

*TELEGRAM #5*A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi. When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer. He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted. It was written: 'Sethji aaj mar gaye!(Sethji Ajmer gaye)

Why do boys fall in love with girls?

2007-05-19T19:00:00.000+05:00

(This was written by a guy)

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. How cute they look when they sleep.

3. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

4. How cute they look when they sleep.

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worthwhile.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually, Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.Yet regardless

if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would diewithout them it matters not.

Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world theybecome everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling only felt.

The 12 Signs of Falling In Love

2007-05-16T15:44:00.000+05:00

12. You'll read his/her IMS over and over again...

11. You'll walk really really slow while you're with him/her...

10. You'll feel shy whenever you're with him/her...

9. While thinking bout him/her...your heart will beat faster and faster...

8. By listening to his/her voice...you'll smile for no reason.

7. While looking at him/her..you cant see the other people around...you can only see that person...

6. You'll start listening to SLOW songs.

5. He/She becomes all you think about.

4. You'll get high just by their smell...

3. You'll realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about them..

2. You'll do anything for him/her...

1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it

2007-05-16T15:19:00.000+05:00

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.

Often happens in life A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format)

to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,

Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options (a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:(a) of love (b) you couldn't control seeing me (c) really ... am I doing it?

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:(a) you always like to see me smiling (b) you are testing whether I like jokes (c) you are attracted by my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:(a) you are so coy to sing before me (b) my presence influenced you (c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:(a) you felt ashamed (b) you felt uneasy (c) you don't know

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:(a) you enjoyed my disappointment (b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing (c) you don't know

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...(a) you were waiting for me (b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus (c) that bus was crowded

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:(a) I am going to be your groom (b) you just want to know what your parents think about me (c) just you felt like introducing me to them

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:(a) to fulfill my wish (b) you like roses (c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 AM because:

(a) you want to pray along with me (b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday (c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.

If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not. Eagerly awaiting your reply..

love, Aakash

Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format...... kash, Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No

2) If a girls laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes (b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not ?

(a) Yes (b) No

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You poked your nose inside..... right ?

(a) Yes (b) No

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?

(a) Yes (b) No

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes (b) No

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?

(a) Yes (b) No

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?

(a) Yes (b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love. Hope everything is clear to you.

99 Facts about Guyz(Very True)...

2007-05-14T12:53:00.001+05:00

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

3.When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
10.Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11.When guys want to meet your parents. Let them. .......dont think so

12.Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! but do not generalise

13.Guys cry!!!

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands......yeh rite - watever.

20.Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.

22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow". ......so true.

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

24.Guys hate gays!

25.Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

27.A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

28. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

29. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

30. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.

31. Guys are very open about themselves.

32. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.

23. No guy is bad when he is courting

34. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

35.Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.

36. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

37.If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.......very true.

38. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

39.A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

40. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts. ........sumtimes.

41. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.

42.Guys virtually brag about anything.

43. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

44. Guys think too much.

45.Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

46. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!......very true.

47.Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!

48. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.

49. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

50. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.

51. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.

52. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.

53. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

54. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed P**** with their girlfriends.....sumtimes depends wen they want sumat.

55. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.

56. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

57. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me"......sumtimes.

58. Guys don't really have final decisions.

59. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

60. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him....very important.

61. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

62. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

63. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

64. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

65. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

66. Guys love girls who can cook or bake. ....they love u regardless.

67. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!......true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down.

68. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

69. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.

70. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.

71. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.

72. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.

73. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

74. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

78. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.

79. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

80. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

81. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they'll realize they're wrong.

82. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.
Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.

85When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.

86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed by you or he's criticizing you.

87.When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

98. Guys hate girls who overreact. ......sumtimes.

99. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

Birthday Present

2007-05-04T22:24:00.000+05:00

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before."Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

2007-05-04T22:16:00.000+05:00

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

0 to 200 in 6 seconds

2007-05-04T22:14:00.000+05:00

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, broughtthe box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.

photgana

2007-05-04T21:47:00.000+05:00

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Dealing with a juggler

2007-04-30T16:52:00.000+05:00

Juggler, driving to his next performance, was

stopped by the police. "What are those

knives doing in your car?" asked the officer.

"I juggle them in my act."

"Oh yeah?" says the cop. "Let's see you do it." So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives.

A guy driving by sees this and says, "Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!"

Here are some reasons why it’s better to be female...

2007-04-30T16:15:00.000+05:00

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

We never ejaculate prematurely.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.

When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it’s pathetic.

We don’t have to get our strength up between sessions...and it’s much easier for us to get "some" in the first place.

We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty oldperverts.

Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers......

Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

Taxis stop for us.

We’ve never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Revenge Is Sweet

2007-04-25T21:06:00.000+05:00

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.

Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.

"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.

After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.

While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.

Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.

"You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"

Girls night out

2007-04-25T21:01:00.000+05:00

Blonde paint job

2007-04-25T20:55:00.000+05:00

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money."You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

2007-04-25T20:27:00.000+05:00

Hii

2007-04-23T11:12:00.001+05:00

Trouble sleeping

2007-04-23T11:08:00.000+05:00

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"

Change your course now

2007-04-23T11:06:00.000+05:00

This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Food one-liners

2007-04-23T11:03:00.000+05:00

The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay waiter."I thought you were trying to get into shape?I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle.

2007-04-20T17:35:00.000+05:00

When I was in 10th grade my student council group of all the leaders of my class went on a roller skating party. My friends dared me to wear no long shorts and no boxers. I did this unfortunatley. While we were skating my friends decided to pull the meanest prank. They pulled my pants down and my shorts fell down to my ankles. My shorts around my ankles caused me to trip and fall. I fell and nocked a really cute girl down. We were both laying on the ground i was naked and my "dollar fifty" was literally right on her face. She started to scream and i became so embarassed. Wrd spreads quickly in my school and soon everyone knew what happened and i was never able to go a day of school without being made fun of.

hUh

2007-04-20T17:34:00.000+05:00

I am a 19 yr. old male and frequently skinny dip at night in my pool outback. One night my parents were away for the weekend and after a long day and party night I grabbed a couple of beers, shed my clothes and headed outside to the pool. I slipped into the pool for a swim, lay on the deck under the midnight sky and had a couple of the beers. I decided to lay on the raft under the moonlight and relax as I floated naked in the pool… The next thing I know I am being woken at about 8:00 a.m. by the birds chirping, the sun in my eyes and greeted by the stares of the neighbour’s 17 yr. old daughter at poolside as she was leaving for work the next day!! I had fallen asleep under the stars and slept through the night floating on the raft! When I awoke I was stark naked floating in the middle of the pool with a huge morning hard on sticking straight up.

Click here to email this Embarrassing Story to your friends!

pics of mine

2007-04-20T17:07:00.000+05:00

do'nt READ

2007-04-12T14:53:00.000+05:00

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?

A. A navel.

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.

Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?

A. A Klondike Bar

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A. "How do you breath through something so small?"

Q. Why don't women wear watches?

A. There's a clock on the stove!

Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?

A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?

A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?

A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin?

A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.

Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?

A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!

Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?

A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.

Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?

A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

Q. What's the difference between love and herpes?

A. Love doesn't last forever.

Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?

A. Call her and tell her.
Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.A. The thief was spending less then his wife.

Q. Why do women have small feet?

A. So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Q. Why do men die before their wives?

A. They want to.

Q. How do men sort out their laundry?

A. Filthy, and filthy but wearable.

Q. What's the difference between a man and ET?

A. ET phoned home.

Q. Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?

A. It doesn't need cleaning.

Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?

A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?

A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

A. Brothel sprouts.

Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?

A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

Q. What's white, smells, and can be found in panties?

A. Clitty litter

Q. I married Miss Right.

A. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."

Q. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?

A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?

A. He's smoking a cigarette.

Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

A. He worked it out with a pencil.

Q. Who's the world's greatest athlete?

A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?

A. Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving

Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?

A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...A. "Is it in?"

Q. What is the cheapest meat?

A. Deer balls, there under a buck.

Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?

A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

Q. What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?

A. The captains log.

Q. What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?

A. A lesbian with a hard-on.

Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?

A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?

A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.

jOb TrAiNiNg

2007-04-11T08:47:00.000+05:00

Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
The first man married a nurse.
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
The second man married a telephone operator.
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,” Wow, he's a lucky one.
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
button...A-bomb.”
The third man married a school teacher.
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
but teachers are just too frigid".
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
would call much later in the day.
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
was her nagging voice saying, “You’re not sanitary, and you’re not sanitary."
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
their voices."
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
three minutes are up."
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher’s husband would be
calling any minute.
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple’s room. The
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
legs.
Joe fearing the worst asked “What happened to you? Did you have a
fight?"
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."

ChocLate

2007-04-11T08:36:00.000+05:00

a man was in an ice cream parlor waiting to buy some ice cream. there was one lady in front of him. she ordered a chocolate cone. the soda-jerk told her he's sorry but they have run out of chocolate. she said, "ok, then i'll have some chocolate." he told her, "lady, i'm out of chocolate." once again she said, "ok, i'll just have some chocolate."exasperated, he said, "lady, spell van as in vanilla." she spelled van. he said, "good, now spell straw as in strawberry." she spelled straw. he said, "good, now spell f*** as in chocolate." the lady said, "there is no f*** in chocolate." he replied, "that's what i'm trying to tell you."

A SnAkE

2007-04-11T08:27:00.000+05:00

A little boy goes up to his mom and says "mommy can take a shower with you?" The mom says no, so the boys goes "please it's my birthday" "Ok" says the mom "just don't look up or down" "Ok I promise" says the boy. But as soon as they're in the shower the boy looks up and says "mommy what are those?" so the mom says "those are my headlights" "oh" says the boy. Then he looks down and says "mommy what is that?" so she says "that's my bush" "oh" said the boy. So later the boy goes up to his dad and says "daddy can take a shower with you?" and the dad says "no". "Please it's my birthday" "ok" said the dad "just don't look down" "ok I promise" said the boy. But as soon as they're in the shower the boy looks down and says "daddy what's that?" so the dad says "that's my snake" "oh" said the boy.So later that night the boy says "mommy, daddy can I get in bed with you I had a bad dream" "no" say his parents. "Please it's my birthday" "Ok" said his parents "just don't look under the covers" "ok I promise" said the boy.But as soon as he's in the bed he looks under the covers and screams "mom turn your head lights there's a snake in your bush!

Sex With Tarazan

2007-04-07T20:01:00.000+05:00

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was, and he said, "Oh,Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have that all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground, and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, pointing, "You must put it in here."Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "Why the hell did you do that?""Tarzan check for bees!"

Blonde

2007-04-07T19:51:00.000+05:00

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut &stormed back in the house.

little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

2007-04-07T19:47:00.000+05:00

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The Sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living.

"I'm a cop", says the first man.

"Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the Sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living.

"I'm a firemen", said the second man.

Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?"

And the third man answered, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

Black Powder

2007-04-07T19:23:00.000+05:00

A guy enters a bank to see about getting a business loan."What kind of business do you want to start?" asks the bank manager."I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on a women's vagina and it makes it taste like a peach.""I don't think we can give you a loan." he replied.So the guy left. A few months later he went into the bank with a wheel barrel filled with money.The same bank manager said, "Congratulations, I guess that idea for black powder really paid off.""Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder.""Really," replied the bank manager. "What does it do?""Give me a peach and I'll show you."

2007-04-07T17:35:00.000+05:00

Wht is Love?
Slow down for three minutes to read this.

It is so worth it.Touching words from the mouth of babes.

What does Love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,

"What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.

That's love."Rebecca- age 8"

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."Billy - age 4"

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."Karl - age 5"

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."Chrissy - age 6"

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."Terri - age 4"

Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."Danny - age 7"

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"Emily - age 8"

Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)"

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"Nikka - age 6(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)"

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."Noelle - age 7"

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."Tommy - age 6"

During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."Cindy - age 8"

My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."Clare - age 6"

Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."Elaine-age 5"

Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."Chris - age 7"

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."Mary Ann - age 4"

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."Lauren - age 4"

When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)Karen - age 7"

Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."Mark - age 6"

You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."Jessica - age 8"