jOb TrAiNiNg

Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
The first man married a nurse.
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
The second man married a telephone operator.
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,” Wow, he's a lucky one.
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
button...A-bomb.”
The third man married a school teacher.
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
but teachers are just too frigid".
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
would call much later in the day.
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
was her nagging voice saying, “You’re not sanitary, and you’re not sanitary."
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
their voices."
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
three minutes are up."
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher’s husband would be
calling any minute.
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple’s room. The
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
legs.
Joe fearing the worst asked “What happened to you? Did you have a
fight?"
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."

ChocLate

a man was in an ice cream parlor waiting to buy some ice cream. there was one lady in front of him. she ordered a chocolate cone. the soda-jerk told her he's sorry but they have run out of chocolate. she said, "ok, then i'll have some chocolate." he told her, "lady, i'm out of chocolate." once again she said, "ok, i'll just have some chocolate."exasperated, he said, "lady, spell van as in vanilla." she spelled van. he said, "good, now spell straw as in strawberry." she spelled straw. he said, "good, now spell f*** as in chocolate." the lady said, "there is no f*** in chocolate." he replied, "that's what i'm trying to tell you."

A SnAkE

A little boy goes up to his mom and says "mommy can take a shower with you?" The mom says no, so the boys goes "please it's my birthday" "Ok" says the mom "just don't look up or down" "Ok I promise" says the boy. But as soon as they're in the shower the boy looks up and says "mommy what are those?" so the mom says "those are my headlights" "oh" says the boy. Then he looks down and says "mommy what is that?" so she says "that's my bush" "oh" said the boy. So later the boy goes up to his dad and says "daddy can take a shower with you?" and the dad says "no". "Please it's my birthday" "ok" said the dad "just don't look down" "ok I promise" said the boy. But as soon as they're in the shower the boy looks down and says "daddy what's that?" so the dad says "that's my snake" "oh" said the boy.So later that night the boy says "mommy, daddy can I get in bed with you I had a bad dream" "no" say his parents. "Please it's my birthday" "Ok" said his parents "just don't look under the covers" "ok I promise" said the boy.But as soon as he's in the bed he looks under the covers and screams "mom turn your head lights there's a snake in your bush!